I don’t just read and write about gambling. Sometimes I read about how to be a better writer.

Recently, I read a blog post that suggested I write my posts to an imaginary avatar—an individual who needs my help and advice, and I should write to that person as if we were just shooting the breeze around a campfire.

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I have an avatar in mind now. He visits the Winstar Casino in Oklahoma every Friday, and he usually takes one of his 2 girlfriends there.

He plays the slots, and he’s lost almost $7000 this year already. He’s obsessed with climbing the VIP club ladder, too.

Here’s my advice to this Oklahoma slot machine player:

1- Start Playing Poker Instead of Slot Machines, You Nitwit

The payback percentage on the slot machines in Oklahoma is awful.

We’re talking about games in a jurisdiction where the casinos aren’t even required to report their payback percentages.

In many jurisdictions, the payback percentages for slot machines must be above a certain number, and they must report their actual paybacks over time.

Neither of these rules apply to the casinos in Oklahoma, so you don’t have any way of knowing what the payback percentage on these games is.

My guess is that they’re only slightly better than the payback percentage you’d see playing scratch and win lottery tickets.

In other words, I’m guessing that the best slot machines in Oklahoma only have a 75% or 80% payback percentage.

What does this translate to in terms of hourly expected losses?

I know that you play for at least $3 per spin, and you probably make an average number of spins per hour—600. You’re putting $1800 per hour into action.

At that 80% figure, you’re getting back just $1440 in winnings, which means you’re losing $360 per hour on average. It might be even more than that.

That’s expensive entertainment, man.

Seriously, how many movie tickets can you buy for $720—the predicted cost for 2 hours play on those machines?

But I know you want to keep gambling, so here’s my advice:

Switch to poker.

You like playing poker, and you enjoy socializing with the other players at the table. The only downside to poker for you is the slow action.

You can improve that by playing for higher stakes to keep the game interesting.

You’re probably never going to be a winning poker player, but you at least have a chance in poker.

And no way do you play so badly that you’re operating at a 20% disadvantage.

2- Stop Trying to Climb Higher on the VIP List for the Slots Club

I know you’re excited about the perks of being a high roller on the VIP list in the players club there. You only mention it every time we talk about the casino.

But don’t you realize that the amount of money it’s costing you to climb that VIP ladder far exceeds the amount of monetary value you’re getting in return?

The program has 3 tiers, and you’re already in the 2nd tier, trying to move up to the 3rd tier.

The points on your card also reset at the end of each month based on your new average, so just to maintain your status, you must continue to visit the casino and play games—losing money at the same time.

And what kind of perks do you get for that 3rd tier?

A 20% discount at the spa?

Really?

I don’t know what’s in the VIP gift packages, but whatever they include, I guarantee you could buy it cheaper if you stopped losing money playing the slots there.

Yeah, the free stuff is cool, and you feel like a VIP, but you can feel like a VIP just by spending money and come out ahead.

The people running the Winstar Casino aren’t dopes. They’ve done the math. They know that they’re coming out way ahead on the perks they offer compared to the amount of money you’re losing to gain those perks.

3- Host Your Own Poker Game Instead of Going to the Casino Every Weekend

I love playing in an actual cardroom in a casino, and you’ll find plenty of action at whatever stakes you prefer at the cardroom in the Winstar.

But even that’s not free.

The Winstar, like every other casino in the United States, charges a rake in exchange for hosting the poker game. This takes the form of 5% of each raked pot.

Even if you’re just as good as the other players at the table, you can’t break even when the casino is taking 5% out of every pot.

You have to be just that much better than the other players to compensate and break even. And you have to be better still to come out with a profit.

On the other hand, you know lots of poker players here in town. And I know you own a poker table and clay chips.

The only trick is finding poker players who want to play for the same stakes you do.

I know you enjoy cooking and playing the host, too. You can go to bed after everyone leaves without driving for 45 minutes to get home, too.

Most importantly, you stand a better chance of winning money in your home poker game because you’re not having to pay the 5% rake to the casino out of every pot.

4- Find Some Women to Hang Out with Who Don’t Like to Gamble

I know that part of the reason you visit the casino so often is because these 2 women you date both love to gamble.

I also know that they love gambling with your money, not theirs. After all, we’re talking about one woman who cleans the rooms at a nursing home for a living, and the other woman is a waitress.

Neither of them can afford to gamble at the levels you like to gamble.

I know how much money you’ve lost at the casino this year, but I wonder if that amount accounts for the money you’ve given these 2 girlfriends?

You have a few rational choices here:

You could try finding other activities to engage in with these women. They might like these activities, or they might not.

I doubt either of them would break up with you just because you stop taking them to the casino.

I think your worst case scenario is that one of them dumps you, but you’ll still have the other one.

You could try getting these 2 women to learn how to play poker. I’ve met both of them, though, and I’m convinced that neither of them are going to be great at the game.

Even so, they’re not idiots. If they’re willing, they can learn to play Texas holdem well enough to do better at that game than they do at the slot machines.

Finally, you could just dump both these gals and find new ladies to spend time with doing other stuff.

We live near Dallas. You can find plenty of educational and culturally things to do that don’t involve pouring money into gambling machines on the behalf of these women.

I know you struggle with dealing with life without using beer and marijuana as crutches.
But your lifestyle as a degenerate gambler all ties together.

The gambling on slot machines, the drinking, and the smoking all add up to a dangerous cocktail that might blow up in your face at any time.

No one—not even you—makes good decisions under the influence.

They especially make bad decision when it comes to gambling.

Losing as much money each year playing slot machines as you do is objectively a bad decision.

You have so many more fulfilling things you could be doing with your money than drinking, smoking, and gambling with it.

If you enjoy the risk involved with gambling, you could try gambling at something that involves higher risks but potentially much higher rewards.

And you’ll have far more influence over your destiny gambling on an investment in your own business than you ever will playing slot machines at the Winstar Casino.

It doesn’t even matter what business you want to get into, but you can get plenty of ideas just by picking up a copy of one of the many magazines aimed at potential entrepreneurs.

Any of these opportunities at least affords you the opportunity to succeed and win money. It’s also easier to write off your losses as a business owner than it is to write off your losses as a gambler.

In fact, the only way you get to write off your losses as a gambler is if you come home a winner.

Otherwise, your losses are just an entertainment expense, which is not generally a tax deductible expenditure.

You could even combine your love of gambling with a new business. I don’t recommend starting your own underground ca

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